Somewhere to vent and general blathering on

To all the 3 people that are going to read this....

Hi there, I was feeling a little redundant this evening and rather than burden my friends with my whinging, I thought, heck there's a whole Internet out there. Then I thought, they are really unlikely to read this. I mean super unlikely. On a scale of one to ten, where one is some strange guy you've never heard of and ten is say Richard Branson, this blog's meandering thoughts are likely to rank at about a 1.5 ( and I'm being generous).

Tonight is inspired by a very delightful bottle of Tempranillo. My friendly wine man  (I could wax lyrical about my neighbourhood wine specialist ad infinitum) convinced me it would solve most of my problems and I certainly have recovered from the two hours spent in peak hour traffic when say half an hour's distance was covered.

It is a Wednesday night and thanks to the horrendous Sydney traffic I missed my yoga class, so am feeling doubly jaded. Restorative yoga is currently getting me through the working week and to miss a session is, to put it mildly, difficult. I hope this article is correct because it is an enjoyable way to hang out and weight loss benefits would be a boon   Sometimes, I'm lying there in a back bend listening to the teacher's melodious voice and wondering how the hell she can see inside my head. I also wonder if she might need therapy from the sights in there.

Last night was a surprisingly enjoyable dinner out with my family, zero arguments, everyone in fine form and the food was delightful. Must have been the company from my delightful friend who somehow makes our family function in an inherently more functional way. Go figure. There were even fireworks, literal fireworks and just by complete coincidence. Did I mention I had a rather delightful gin and tonic? Love trying a new gin and the Monkey 47 was crisp and delicious. 

Currently I'm having an existential crisis, if you knew me you would probably be asking yourself, when isn't she suffering an existential crisis? I'm at a point where I just have to ask where the hell is it all going? I turned a significant birthday last year - I'm planning on turning it again - and upon reflection have decided the following:

1. I've spent the last few years in a weird pseudo relationship that makes no sense to either party and yet is equal parts heaven and hell. Are we both too scared of being alone or are we both in denial or is this as good as it gets or does something need to change? - rhetorical questions people. I wonder if he has the same internal crisis or if I don't rank that highly on his radar? I think he does, perhaps I'm just suffering separation anxiety because he is currently so far away and no doubt having a ball - yes I'm jealous.
2. Work is driving me to drink or the edges of sanity due to stress, lack of sleep and complete intellectual frustration. That sounds so over the top doesn't it? I'm quite sure exhaustion with the whole employment situation is ageing me daily. I long to recapture the energetic enthusiasm of my early twenties and the career trajectory I used to possess at that point (before disappointment had tempered my self confidence and aspirations).
3. Being of a certain age, even if I don't particularly look or act like it, requires consistent defending of horrid questions from one's parents. I realise that is not as horrible as homelessness or living in a war zone or something truly horrific, however, it still jars. It is rather horrific to think that being a woman means your mother is so deeply invested in your reproductive destiny to the extent that you that feel you are a consistent source of disappointment. On the plus side, time is of the essence there so I won't have to worry about that situation for much longer.
4. The 24 hour news cycle and the current crazy political landscape of the over-the-top personality creates a palpable sense of dismay and confusion that leaches into all aspects of life. I'm almost tempted to take up a sporting obsession to avoid reading about the leaders of not just one, but most countries. When did politics become such a side show or was it ever thus?
5. We live in a world of black and white sound bites and tweets, when reality is all shades of grey that lie between. Question everything, that is the hallmark of education.The world would be a better place if we all embraced that ethos.

Enough moaning, because there are indeed so many wonderful things and people that make life worth living - for instance: great art, a thought provoking film, wonderful friends, being enveloped in a post coital embrace that drowns out the noisy universe, the taste of the sea as you swallow an oyster, an experience shared, dancing to The Wombats, rocking out to the Foo Fighters (Dave Grohl is my hero - and the Foo have a new song out) and typing exceedingly fast to Calvin Harris ( he's so pretty).

I hope I haven't bored you senseless. Signing off because the gym beckons in the morning.